Parenting Young Athletes - Part 1

First published in 2016.

Like most people, I am inspired by the amazing accomplishments of athletes who have achieved excellence and world class status in sports. Watching an Olympic event can bring tears to my eyes as I realize the possibilities inherent in human talent and commitment. For an athlete to become part of an Olympic team and compete on a world stage takes dedication to a single goal beyond what many of us have or are even witness to very often. It is truly amazing what can be achieved through focus and commitment.

I am even more likely, brought to tears, by watching my own children perform in their selected sports. It is, naturally, the modest performances of my own, that strikes a cord of awe and pride most deeply in the heart of their mom. The background knowledge of the support and love required to even attempt greatness in athletics brings home certain universal aspects of being human and what it really takes to achieve a dream.

At bat.

We currently have three serious athletes in our immediate family. One baseball player and two gymnasts. Our daughter is a gymnast and we are also currently hosting an international student gymnast. As parents, we walk a fine and demanding line of supporting their pursuits in sports and helping them achieve a balance in their lives.

Our goals for our children include taking into account all other areas of life and achievement, most importantly long term health and happiness. While sports participation can contribute to those ends, it can also overtake them. It can displace them, distort them or focus them more sharply.





As a mother of young athletes, I am a witness to the daily effort needed for even the most basic involvement in a sport. It takes a committed family to enable a young person to follow the dream of athletic participation, at any level. What it takes for the highest levels of achievement is incomprehensible to me at times, when just getting my child to the field or the gym requires me to do back flips (metaphorically) given the other responsibilities of raising children and maintaining a household.

USAG Eastern Nationals 2016

Sports achievement, requires first and foremost a committed, driven athlete and a supportive family. It also requires a team of knowledgeable and talented coaches and athletic trainers.

There can be the need for expertise in sports related counseling sessions, injury prevention or injury recovery. On occasion, there is the need for physical therapists, sports doctors and surgeons. High level sports participation requires the constant struggle of single purpose against the odds of circumstance and available resources.

High achievement requires a heavily resourced band wagon.

As sports parents, we have the responsibility of providing healthy nutrition on a daily basis, providing the required apparel for practice, games and competitions, (there is lots of laundry), scheduling, driving, oversight of academic achievement and creating an environment of support that includes the opportunity for rest and downtime. The sourcing of all of this falls squarely on the shoulders of the parents, to find, provide, utilize and fund. High achievement isn't cheap.

Healthy daily nutrition is a must.

There are times, when it is difficult to address the needs of other individual family members while supporting a driven young athlete. For the athlete, there is a constant demand of staying focused and committed while living a life of balance. For parents, it requires the constant outlay of resources to the endeavor. In some families this may place limitations on other activities for siblings. Maintaining an intense practice schedule and allotting the resources for it takes creativity while continuing to consider the needs of other family members. For some sports, such as gymnastics, the longest time off from practice in an entire calendar year is only one week. Trying to juggle that in a family of athletes with working parents, who have employer dictated vacation weeks, has meant short and sweet family vacations that are more accurately described as extended weekends.

What really matters...

As we continue supporting our children as athletes, I have come to realize that for our family, the discipline that is most important is beyond all of the athletic training. For the young athlete with high aspirations, there is the need to focus so much on ones own pursuit that the consideration of the others living with and around them can be easily overlooked. It is important to me to emphasize the value of family, friends and loved ones for their own sake. I try in word and deed, to remind our driven athletes of the value of others in their lives, beyond the contribution they make to the personal sports goals of the athlete.

Wherever our children end up in their athletic adventures, whether it be culminated in high school sports participation or beyond, hopefully their participation and learning will contribute to the growth of more well rounded, disciplined and aware people (parents included). The real goal in sports participation is the growth of people who know what it takes to love and support others, are better able to contribute to the well being and lives of others and to effectively improve the world in which they live.

For an amazing look into the gymnastics life of Olympic champion McKayla Maroney as she reflects on her career, watch her fascinating interview on GymCastic.

Or for a very personal and revealing coming of age story set in the demanding world of elite gymnastics read Chalked Up by Jennifer Sey. Available on amazon.

Spring Means Baseball

For our family, organized sports participation began with our children when our oldest was seven. It was a late start by our local community standards, but it wasn't long before we were all in. My husband initially became more involved by "helping out" with team practices. His involvement grew year by year and a few springs later he was managing and coaching a Little League team. 

At the Little League World Series

Both of our sons have continued to play baseball most of their young lives. My husband continued to coach into our son's travel team participation. Family summer time activities were dictated by game schedules and team practices. As a homeschooling family, the baseball field is where we developed relationships with other parents in our suburban neighborhood. Family vacations even included trips to watch Little League championship games in Williamsport, PA. (A great family vacation destination, by the way.)

Many hours were spent at one field or another. Whether as parent spectator, coach or player we each enjoyed being outdoors through the spring and summer. As a family we have many wonderful baseball related memories from on and off the field.

I especially loved seeing my husband work with all of the young players. Our sons were observing his leadership first hand and up close in a context outside of our family. I am beyond proud of the integrity he demonstrated for them to emulate one day. Their relationship with each other has been enhanced because of their shared interest and participation. They will always cherish the memories of those extended moments practicing and developing skills together. 

Every family will determine their own level of involvement and their goals for "extra curricular" activities. We have seen many benefits of participating in non-academic pursuits, specifically sports. Each of our children has come away from sports participation with a realistic understanding of what it takes to excel in any endeavor.

Organization skills or how to
take care of your own equipment
has been a sports participation benefit.

• Discipline
• Work Ethic
• Commitment
• Self awareness
• Compassion
• Team work 

As parents, we all have high hopes for our offspring. We have seen more then our fair share of extreme commitment from parents in the hope of great lifetime success in a sport. We want to provide opportunities that weren't available to us. We are all susceptible to attempts at living unrealized dreams of our own through our children. There is a fine balance between recognizing the talents of our children and our expectations for them of utilizing those talents. Being realistic without trampling on their dreams, it is important as parents to be realistic about the possibilities of sports greatness.

Learning to play by the rules.

And respect for authority.

At every level of sports participation the numbers decrease dramatically. Many community team players never have a chance to play in high school. According to www.scholarshipstats.com, only 7% of high school athletes (all sports) play in college and from there to professional sports the numbers are reduced even more dramatically.

Our oldest ended his participation on a team as an 18 year old, after a knee injury. College academics took precedence over an athletic come back. Our second son is still playing. As a high school senior, this is his last season as a high school player. As parents, we have made an effort to keep all of the sports participation in perspective. We are glad to have developed connections to community members that are rooted in the mutual goal of supporting our children and teaching them the values of hard work and being a team player. We have wonderful family memories of cheering and winning and losing. Our children have an appreciation and respect for competition. They also have personal understanding of the benefits of health and physical fitness. All things that they will utilize in all areas of their lives.

All gains - no matter our son's future in baseball. For the moment - we are enjoying the game!

After four years of developing team spirit and comradery,
our son's days of  high school baseball are coming to a close.

Traveling with Young Athletes

Our teenagers participation in sports has sometimes required us to travel long distances to events. So far, this has always been because they have achieved entry into a level of competition that they worked hard to accomplish. A regional or national competition is a big deal and something we felt deserved our commitment as parents to assist them in participating in.

Needless to say, travel is expensive. Our family vacations have predominantly been budget conscious adventures, tent camping, lots of sandwiches on the road, etc. So our earliest sports travel expenses were quite a shock. Fun and exciting, but did a number on our budget! I began to explore options and ways to reduce the expense. One wonderful discovery was of Airbnb. Not only did Airbnb save us money but the accommodations were actually beneficial in many ways, especially for our daughter, as she competed at gymnastic meets.

Staying in the hub (the designated host hotels) of competition excitement can be invigorating but it can also be distracting and overwhelming for an athlete as they prepare for high level competitions. In the case of gymnastics there are often many athletes of varying ages with different needs and expectations. The activity level can be distracting. Socializing looks more fun than getting rest, eating well and staying focused. The food choices, especially if your funds are limited can be restrictive.

Food

Healthy nutrition is an important component for competing athletes. Eating on the road is typically more restrictive and finding good nutrition on the road is difficult without over spending. It can be difficult to maintain a healthy diet especially one required by a young competing athlete while traveling. Staying with Airbnb hosts has been amazingly beneficial for us, in this regard. We have been able to find accommodations that have provided access to complete use of a kitchen, allowing us to prepare food for ourselves instead of eating out or resorting to packaged items. In one case we were asked by our host in advance, what items we would like to have available for breakfasts. When we arrived we were greeted by a well stocked supply of appropriate, start your day right, meal choices.

Share the Expense 

Trying to keep costs down, we have organized with other families, to share the expense. Due to different competition levels, schedules and needs of the athletes, arranging to share accommodations can be helpful or honestly, only add to the level of stress. We have at times been fortunate to have teammate families that have been willing to share travel and/or accommodations. Depending on the location and distance, sharing driving especially, can be much more cost effective than air travel.

We have shared both hotel rooms and airbnb accommodations.  The advantage to sharing an Airbnb is the wide range of options available. There are whole houses, or single rooms. There are luxury accommodations, or bare bones facilities. In one situation, we shared with another gymnast and her mom, we had two lovely bedrooms (the girls shared one, us moms the other), The downside of this arrangement was the chatting that went on into the night, infringing on sleep. And it wasn't the girls who were up late into the night chatting and losing sleep. We have always had access to a kitchen when staying in an Airbnb.  As a result, we have been able to provide the best nutrition and cook up some great meals. After one meet we were able to share a wonderful meal of celebration with our hosts. You never know where support for your young athlete and your family will come from.

Pineapples are symbols of hospitality. Airbnb hosts deliver.

Visit Airbnb

Parenting Young Athletes - Part 2 - Feed Them Well

Children, pre-teens and teens all have the need for high quality nutrient dense food. Their growing bodies demand continual sources of energy, protein, vitamins and minerals to support and sustain their growth. Being young usually gives them a bit of wiggle room to recover from less then perfect diets. For young athletes however, the wiggle room is tighter. The demands are greater and the consequences of sub-optimal nutrition are far reaching into their life long health. While it is important for all young and growing people to have good nutrition, young athletes and their parents should pay special attention to their diets to help provide them the nutrients needed for optimal development.

Required: Three meals a day, plus snacks!

Three meals plus snacks, actually translates into four, five or even six small but nutrition packed meals a day at our house. Consistently providing enough high quality nutrition takes a concerted effort, one that can be hard to stay on top of at times. Below are some basic ideas and credible resources that I have found useful for staying informed and motivated to supply the healthy food my family of young athletes needs.

An over flowing fruit bowl visibly reminds everyone of a
healthy snack option as well as some beauty while it lasts.

The basic nutritional components of high quality, nutritious meals include carbs, protein and fats.

After a workout, it is important to replenish with all three of the basics; carbs, protein, fat. According to Nancy Clark, MS, RD, it doesn't need to be a lot, but having something as soon as comfortable following an intense workout will enhance the building of and recovery of muscles. She writes in her excellent Sports Nutrition Guidebook, that even 100 calories post workout can make a big difference and suggests 8 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of protein (one ounce of hard cheese), and 3 grams of fat. As little as 10 grams of protein following exercise can stimulate muscle growth.

Don't avoid the carbs. 

I am learning the importance of carbs for my athletes. I've heard young (especially female) athletes discuss and seen them intentionally avoid carbs. The idea being that they will avoid weight gain. While certainly not exclusive to young women, I've not personally heard this concern among the young male athletes, I know. Young and growing female athletes need to understand the value of carbs for their overall development and specifically for their reproductive development. I've listed a resource for a description and discussion of "relative energy efficiency" below. The energy supplied by carbohydrates is crucial for the building of muscle mass. Carbs provide the energy needed for activity but also the energy required for building new muscles. They are good for both before and after workouts and competitions.

Athletes need carbs, protein and fat.

We eat lots of bananas! Why?
They are a great value, have prime nutrients and
31 grams of carbohydrates.

Eating something before training optimizes post workout recovery. 

My teens usually eat something several hours before an event and a lighter snack closer to event time. Despite my urging, none of my kids eat much if anything during games or competitions which are often long drawn out affairs. Seven innings of a high school baseball game can be lengthy or four events at a gymnastics meet takes about 2 1/2 - 3 hours plus an awards ceremony. So I try to be prepared prepared and have nutritious snacks at events and competitions. Fortunately, the appetite typically kicks in and many gymnasts are ready to eat at awards. When available, I break my limited spending at meets rule and buy a fruit smoothie for my gymnast. Smoothie vendors typically have fresh fruit to use to create a healthful, hydrating, yummy post competition reward. Encourage your young athlete to have at least a few bites during events to maintain energy needed for games and competitions.

One task I personally find difficult, is always having snacks ready to grab and go for busy training or competition days. Those grab and go snacks get snatched up and eaten frequently at any time - on the go or not. I have to hide some of the packaged snacks, like granola bars, to make sure there are easy to take snacks available for when they are really needed. We keep granola bars on hand, a bag of clementines in the fridge and there are always bananas available.

What to eat after training or a competitive event.                                                         I'm repeating myself here - carbs, protein, fat.

Easy to prepare and full of healthy flavor, a crock pot meal with a beef brisket surrounded by veggies can be ready for an after training meal.

More Nutrition facts about protein and beef can be found at the Cattlemen's Beef Association's website. http://www.beefitswhatsfordinner.com/beefsbig10.aspx

If an athlete finds that their appetite is diminished immediately following a workout try a liquid instead of a solid food. Chocolate milk or a fruit smoothie can be a good choice to begin replenishing. On the other hand an, if an athlete has an increased appetite there is nothing wrong with having meat such as lean beef following a workout. Dairy is also an excellent source of workout follow up nutrition for young athletes. Fortunately, the appetite typically kicks in and many gymnasts are ready to eat at awards. When available, I break my limited spending at meets rule and buy a fruit smoothie for my gymnast. Smoothie vendors typically have fresh fruit to use to create a healthful, hydrating, yummy post competition reward.

Drink water and stay hydrated. 

Recommendations vary regarding water consumption. Needs will depend on the athlete, the activity and weather. An outdoor run on a hot day will require more hydration than an indoor stretching routine. Mostly, encourage your young athlete to pay attention to their own body and drink to thirst.

Adequate rest and recovery time is essential.

Sleep is the the best way to get the rest required for health, growth, continued learning (both physical and academic) and athletic performance. Sleep is required for the hormonal cycles that encourage and stimulate physical growth and development, including building muscle. Without sufficient sleep, workouts can place an excessive demand on a growing athlete, translating into lower performance, injury or just plan grouchiness.

While most of this may seem obvious to anyone feeding a family, I find it useful to have reminders to help us stay on track. Providing ongoing nutritious meals and snacks can often be harder than it seems when assisting young athletes in accomplishing their goals. Well written published resources offer ideas and credible recommendations.

A few excellent resources below. Some are affiliate links to resources I have viewed, read and find valuable.

Sports Nutrition Guide from USADA U.S. Anti-Doping Agency.

For important information regarding young women athletes and nutrition, check out the article at eatright.org.
http://www.eatright.org/resource/fitness/sports-and-performance/tips-for-athletes/preventing-relative-energy-deficiency-in-young-female-athletes

Nancy Clark's Sports Nutrition Guidebook 



Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family by Ellyn Satter

Highly recommended by parents and dietitians alike, Jodie Shield's book is an excellent resource for every family.

Asher at Bat - We Encourage Our Kids to Participate in Organized Youth Sports

There is a wide range of available opportunities in our current culture for organized youth sports. There are as many sports as there are kids to play; as many games as there are days in summer, fall, spring and winter. There is baseball, lacrosse, badminton, gymnastics (several kinds), track and field, soccer, hockey, volleyball and I'm sure plenty more I'm not even aware of. In each, there are varying levels at which to participate.

There are community leagues; parents volunteer to manage, coach and assist with administration. Often associated with national organizations, many communities give these groups priority for field time and park access. Little League Baseball and American Youth Soccer Organization are just two examples.

In some communities there are park district leagues; anyone can sign up and everyone plays. Organized and administrated by local city parks and recreation departments these leagues often hire young adults to assist with teaching and coaching.

There are travel leagues and travel teams; in some cases, there is still parent coaching and managing. Though in these leagues, it is more likely there will be a privately hired coach. Training for the players on these teams is usually more intensive. Some of these teams will require try outs, others won't. These are basically club sports that are private. Participation in competitions is administrated through a larger organization. USA Gymnastics for gymnasts is an example.

And in the good ol' USA.
There are school teams, some where everyone plays and some exclusive. On the exclusive school teams, coaches choose players based on skill and ability already achieved and demonstrated at try-outs. Some school teams will include training and skill development, but don't count on it. Some school sports are not available to everyone.

Whatever level of participation you choose for your young athlete, there are fruitful experiences to share.

Benefits for the athletes:

• Productive, keep busy activity
• Social time with a purpose
• Family involvement and activity
• Parent and son/daughter time

Many life lessons including:

• Being a part of a team
• Learning about, how to handle competition
• Learning what it takes to achieve excellence
• Learning to work with others
• Learning to encourage others
• Learning to find appropriate mentors

Competition


Bring up the topic at any adult event where parents are present and you will hear plenty of arguments for and against the competition inherent in sports participation. The fear and trepidation regarding the competitive nature of sports has actually become one of my reasons to encourage participation. Our world is saturated with competition and  based on what I know about human nature, it's not going away anytime soon. So let's dive in and wrestle with it. Let's be in the process of understanding it with our kids. Let's not just throw them in on their own and pretend that if we only choose the right activities (art & theater) for them, they won't encounter it.

Parents and coaches can (and should) have ongoing conversations about the games they are a part of and the competition involved. Listen to your young athlete's impressions and understanding. Don't make assumptions about what it means to them. Usually they have deeper understanding then we know.

Keep Talking

Consider exploring for yourself and with your athlete some of the following questions:
What is your goal for today's game or practice?
What skill do you want to practice to improve?
How can I help my teammates?
How can I contribute to my team?


One Example From Our Experience

Little League also offers suggestions

Our son, Asher, by his own choice, began playing   T-Ball at the age of five. Having watched his older brother play countless games already, Asher was an astute player when he first took the field. The rules of T-Ball were to him, unfortunately dumbed down. On one occasion, riding home from a game he talked T-ball rules. Angry and indignant to the point of tears he recounted a play that involved his impressive throw to first base. The throw beat out the runner but to Asher's dismay, the runner was allowed to stay on base. The meaning to him was that his effort wasn't acknowledged. To him the rule change negated the effort of his throw. Explaining that each player comes with different levels of skill and knowledge, especially at that age, was important. However, the experience reinforced for him the desire to gain skills to move on to experiences with more competition, not less.

Whatever level of participation you choose for your young athlete, there are fruitful experiences to share. Staying involved and active in sports can be worthwhile. There is learning and growth to be enjoyed at the gym or on the field for every family member, just keep connecting to one another and Play Ball!