Shelter At Home Rewards & Memories 2020

As our time sheltering in place with everyone at home has come to a close, it is with anticipation that I am looking to the future again. Our three young adult offspring have all headed back to their own individual residences, to their now, somewhat altered lives and activities, that were only just beginning and abruptly interrupted last spring. I am thankful for any and all of the opportunities for them to begin again, to take even small steps back into the world, beyond our home in lockdown. 

However, the transition back into the world warrants some reflection as well, especially given that the unexpected extra time together provided many joyful moments and a significant amount of productive activities together. 

Below are a few photo highlights documenting some of the goodness we redeemed while being forced to stay home together for an extended time. We attempted to maintain a tone of gratitude during the unusual circumstance that was so frequently and accurately described as unprecedented. Reflecting on all we gained, I hope to hold the many precious memories as reminders to approach the future with courage and even awe after seeing what can come from such uncertainty. I suspect that ongoing courage will be needed as we continue 2020.

So as for the many memories, first and foremost; food, delicious food. Our kitchen got busy again with more people to prepare and have meals with. The unscheduled extended time offered the chance for lots of baking to happen and breaking bread together. 

Creativity and making... sewing and embroidery. My daughter and I both enjoy making things; both the process and the results. Needles, thread, scissors kept our hands busy and led to more ideas than we could actual bring to fruition. 

Sewing, knitting, teaching Adah new sewing skills with the added advantage of being available to answer her questions on technique immediately was a delight. Making is a joy we have cultivated together. I am thankful to have so many shared interests.

Adah produced new items for herself and added items to her Etsy shop. Online shops provide an easy opportunity to learn about having a business. 

     

My sons and I enjoy photography. We work in collaboration sometimes and have all contributed to documenting Adah's making, modeling and dancing. We took advantage of the shut down's slow traffic and relative empty local business district for photo walks together.

Asher, son number two, has moved into video editing, he was the guy behind the camera for a dance video idea I had. Communicating that idea to him and collaborating with him as videographer and Adah as dancer and choreographer was great artistic fun. Can't wait to see his final edit on this one!

And finally Adah, had the opportunity to get in enough drive time practice to be ready to test at the DMV once it was open again. She tested successfully and obtained her driver's license. She is happy, proud and enjoying more independence as a result.  We are all ready to get on with this journey that is 2020!

Trust in 2020

For the last couple of years, inspired by other bloggers, I have chosen a personal word of the year. Just a single word to return to throughout the year, to keep a particular idea or goal in mind when I need a simple reminder to return from the drift.

Early in 2020, one word, as a likely candidate  for my word of the year, didn't come readily to mind. Since it didn't come easily, I didn't force it and I didn't write a 'word of the year' blog post. Sometime during the weeks, (or was it months?) after the beginning of the new year, a word surfaced that resonated for me. That word that kept surfacing was 'trust'.

Appropriately, given the adjustments to our new family configuration of teens and young adults moving out of the house (mostly), I was in a new season. I needed to trust the process, as I re-imagined and restructured my life with more options for myself with time to pursue my own individual goals. Somehow during that process in the early months of a new year, I skipped writing about and sharing my 2020 word choice.

Fast forward into the second half of 2020... now.

Here we are - all of us, myself, my husband, my young adult children and undoubtedly, you, too, in the wildest overtly most uncertain year of most any - in our lifetimes.

My unacknowledged word of the year has come in handy and not in the ways I initially imagined it would. I have turned it over and over in my mind. I have turned to it regularly and clung to it. It might have begun as a word to focus on, as a hopeful hedge against the concerns of my children's forays into their new beginnings, or as simple motivation to keep taking the next step myself, as I restructured my own time and goals, but for obvious reasons, it became a word, a thought, a concept that has meant much more. Trust in those expected areas of transition, in the first few months of 2020, was it seems now, relatively easy. Looking back, those changes were just par for the course, hardly an overwhelming challenge. Trust - no problem - I've got this!

And then..... mid-march, it all hit the proverbial fan. Pandemic, bring and welcome all three kids back home, additionally my husband began to work from home, online work from home for everyone, online classes to complete the year's educational goals for two, including dance classes via zoom in the living room for my daughter. No in person church, gatherings or even meetings with friends,  shopping for groceries equals a whole new adventure. Each of those experiences individually haven't been too hard, but piling them up, one on top of another has caused some trembling.

You know - you've been adjusting to the same things.

“Scared is what you're feeling. Brave is what you're doing.”
― Emma Donoghue, Room

Somewhere, in the midst of all of this, is when my word of the year, chosen but somewhat forgotten and not publicly shared, became internally louder. It remains, my one word hold on peace. I think it, I speak it, I pray it - daily and not because it is automatic for me to do so. I use it against the other word that comes more readily and unbidden to mind.

I use my intentionally chosen word against the word that comes more naturally, viscerally invading so much of  my experience these days. I use it against that word, that feeling, that comes oppressively heavy handed in 2020. Trust, repeated again and again. Breath in, breath out - trust - to fight the thief, and replace the the word that is, fear.

Reading: 1st Quarter Goals Accomplished

Apparently recording, reviewing and sharing my own 2020 reading goals on this blog, on a monthly basis, is at this time, a little beyond my reach. My new plan for the blog is to post my reading accomplishments quarterly. First quarter list below:

I set reading goals for myself for the year of 2020.

These titles are the ones I've gotten through during the first three months of 2020. I am noticing  the rewards of being intentional with my own reading again. I've been choosing titles based on the goals I set of two fiction, two non-fiction and one audio per month. I'm feeling the rewards and the challenges of actually consistently setting aside time to engage in the printed word. Now, with the added changes to all of our lives this year, having this goal continues to be a helpful. I expected social distancing to create an atmosphere for increased reading. Despite remaining at home, the world situation has actually made it more difficult for me to focus.

Reaping the Benefits of Reading

Setting a reading goal for myself at the beginning of the new year propelled my reading back to where it has been at other times in my life. I have found sitting with a good book to still be as pleasurable as it has always been throughout my life. Immersing myself in a good story, or theory or approach of an accomplished writer is so very satisfying. Attempting to apply an approach and/or instigating conversation beyond the books has contributed to deepening relationships and added joy in my current life in only the past two short months. Honestly, it has!

My 2020 list so far.

January/February/March

Non-Fiction

Atomic Habits, An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones by James Clear

The Legacy Journey. A radical View of Biblical Wealth by Dave Ramsey

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Taken for Granted by Gianno Caldwell
One Simple Act by Debbie Macomber
All the Places to Go How Will You Know by John Ortberg

The Enchanted Hour The Miraculous Power of Reading Aloud in the Age of Distraction by Meghan Cox Gurdon
This is my new favorite regarding the joy of reading aloud.

Fiction

Half Broke Horses by Jeanette Walls

The Glass Castle A Memoir by Jeanette Walls
A bit more about these two titles on an earlier post.

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

And one audio. 

I love this option from our library. Digital listening allows me to knit while listening to a good book. For ongoing inspiration, Sarah Mackenzie's was a perfect listen to read.

The Read Aloud Family by Sarah Mackenzie

Social distancing has presented the opportunity for more reading. In recent weeks, when I have been able to get started with a good read, I have found the time reading to be a welcomed escape from the anxiety that currently shapes the world and has managed to intrude into our homes and lives. Taking the time to dive into a good story, individually, gives us a break from our current day to day concerns. We might discover a better point of view from which to approach our intended plans. If we are sharing the experience of reading a title with others for a book group discussion or as a read aloud we share the experience of thinking about higher ideas or another's story and have another basis for deeper connections and creating community. My hope is for my family, friends and everyone, really, to enjoy the benefits from picking up a former favorite title or a recommended new one during this unprecedented beginning to a new year.

Happy Reading!

Reading for Me

The first month of 2020 is gone. February is flying fast right behind. I didn't and I haven't in the past made many resolutions or used the year's beginning as the only time to set goals but this year I did set some reading goals for myself. I have planned to read one fiction, one non-fiction and listen to one audio book each month of 2020. One and a half months into 2020 and I have exceeded my goal. I have been thoroughly enjoying my reading for myself based on my own interests.

While browsing at a bookstore, I discovered the Literary Journeys A Readers' Journal. A small splurge has me recording the books I'm reading this year. I indulged myself and bought the reader's journal for the sole purpose of recording my own reading progress. In the past I've keep a running list in a word doc but I have often skipped adding what I've read to the list and though I've added notes about some titles, the list method just wasn't inspiring me to keep track anymore.

For the first time, I set a New Year's reading goal for myself for the new year. Entering 2020 with an empty nest, I have felt the need to establish more than a few new routines. Reading has brought me hours of joy through out the years so it's time for me to intentionally return to that experience intentionally and regularly.

It's been awhile since I've read a novel just for the sheer joy of reading. The first novel for my reading year was Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls.

Half Broke Horses led me straight to another title of Jeannette Walls, The Glass Castle A Memoir. This recounting of her life story was fascinating and in some spots a little to close to home. In particular her description of her father's process of detoxing from alcohol, an experience I witnessed with my own father when I was a teen. Despite the fact that this is based on the authors life story I found myself frustrated with the ongoing dysfunction of her parents. Had this been a fictional novel I would have put it aside for the lack of resolution. Given that it was someones real life, I kept reading. Thankfully the story does have some redeeming resolution. You'll have to read it to discover the outcomes for yourself.

To add to the fun and my own sense of accomplishment, I'm keeping track of the titles by recording what I've read in a reading journal. While browsing at a local bookstore, I discovered the Literary Journeys A Readers' Journal. The small splurge of purchasing the journal has me listing the books with the sole purpose of recording my own reading progress. In the past, I've keep a running list in a word doc but have often skipped adding what I've read to the list and though I've added notes occasionally about some titles, the list method just wasn't inspiring me to keep track anymore. With space provided in the journal to include notes, other titles by the same author, writing down thoughts inspired and quotes by authors in one place, it is helping me to see my reading journey as a process of growth and the motivation to keep it up.

Into 2020; Family, Parenting, Change and Love

Through all of the stages of parenting most of us have our favorites, some of us enjoy the babies, others of us enjoy the early childhood years of exploration and intense learning, others love the teens, (well, there must be someone, somewhere) though I have actually enjoyed watching the blossoming of my children during the teen years.

My theory is that whatever stage a family is currently in, it is often the phase that feels the hardest as parents - we look back at previous stages with fondness, easily forgetting the difficulties, only viewing the past through a sentimental lens. We can look forward to the future stages of development of our children with the hope and anticipation of smooth sailing when they are bigger or when a child acquires whatever skill might be next that it will make our life as a parent easier. We imagine that when the stage we are in passes, everything will be easier and better because... (fill in the blank). The phase of parenting we are in at the moment; with a ever growing, ever changing family can feel as if it is the most difficult, whether it is weaning a reluctant little one, potty training, learning to read, counseling a teen through a friendship crisis or encouraging a young adult  through college applications and course work.

We are all in, at any given moment and that one stage of development of any member of a family can feel like the most intense and the hardest to be in and to support our children through. This parenting journey is a look to the future kind of gig while also always being all about the moment to moment experience of being present with our children as often as possible. Some days we just make it through, other days we rejoice and high five our spouse. Also, unfortunately there are those days where all we can do is weep. And the oft used phrase "The days are long but the years are short." hoovers around the edges or becomes a mantra for the experience.

Here in our home, we have launched three amazing young adults into the world. We are proud of each of them. We are thrilled that they are all doing well and we also miss the daily interactions. If you aren't this far along on the journey - you might imagine that this is a phase comes with less worry and anxiety. Once you make it this far there isn't much to struggle with or complain about. We're done, it's all good - until....

Until the college kid comes home, just a few days before Christmas to share the virus that's been circulating on campus, exposing the rest of the family for the holidays. Or another, comes home with huge doubts about their chosen course of study. Or another, on the easier side, joins the family celebration still needing assistance with a ride to the mall, a haircut and work done on their vehicle. It is all still a labor of love and our presence as parents (recognized or not) continues to be an important aspect of supporting our offspring and each other through another phase of individual and family growth. We are still all in - deep.

Every phase of family life has it's joys and challenges, every year has it's change of seasons, accomplishments and setbacks, every decade has it's holding on, letting go and new adventures.

"To everything turn turn turn there is a season and a purpose under heaven and a time to every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Happy New Year!
2020 - here we come!